When we think about mentoring, we often look for someone more experienced and knowledgeable. But finding the right mentor isn’t easy. And not having one shouldn’t stop us from growing.
That’s why I strongly believe we can be our own mentors.
Whether I was learning a language or going to therapy, I always knew that one session per week wasn’t enough. Real progress required effort outside of those 1:1 sessions. That’s why I’ve always relied on self-learning and self-development.
The same applies to mentoring. Even with a great mentor, we still need to put in the work ourselves. And when we don’t have one? It’s even more important. So, why not become a mentor for yourself?
A mentor brings valuable experience and insights, but we already have a lot to learn from within ourselves. The key is to recognize and use that inner knowledge.
Shifting our mindset can make a huge difference. If we start seeing ourselves as our own mentors, we just need the right tools to make it work.
At first, self-mentoring might seem overwhelming. How can we give ourselves advice when we’re the ones looking for guidance?
The answer lies in creating distance. We need to step back from our thoughts, emotions, and experiences—almost as if they belong to someone else. This way, we can look at them more objectively and learn from them.
One of the best ways to do this is reflective writing. Writing helps bring our thoughts onto paper, allowing us to step back and see them with fresh eyes.
To mentor ourselves, we need material to reflect on. Here’s where we can start:
1. Analyzing Past Experiences
Think about yourself one year ago. Five years ago. Ten years ago.
How have you changed?
What advice would you give to your past self?
Can you apply that same advice to your future self?
2. Reflecting on Recent Experiences
We learn something new every day, but do we take the time to reflect? Ask yourself:
What situation has impacted me recently?
What did I learn from it?
How can I use this lesson going forward?
3. Identifying Strengths, Weaknesses, and Values
Understanding ourselves better helps us grow. Take a moment to assess:
What are my biggest strengths?
What challenges do I struggle with?
What values guide my decisions?
4. Observing Others
We can learn by watching people around us. Pay attention to mentors, colleagues, and even friends.
What qualities do they have that you admire?
How do they handle challenges?
What lessons can you take from their experiences?
5. Learning from External Sources
Mentors aren’t the only source of wisdom. Books, podcasts, courses, and even casual conversations can provide valuable insights—if we’re paying attention.
We don’t have to wait for the perfect mentor to appear. The knowledge we seek is all around us. We just have to notice it.
Becoming your own mentor doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It means taking control of your growth, using reflection as a tool, and learning from every experience.
Have you ever mentored yourself? What strategies have helped you grow? Let’s share insights.