April is Stress Awareness Month - a time to reflect on how stress impacts our lives, our health, and our ability to cope. While we can’t avoid stress entirely, research shows that two powerful forces - control and choice - can dramatically change how we respond to it.
In 1976, researchers Langer and Rodin* gave nursing home residents a plant and split them into two groups. One group was encouraged to make choices, take responsibility, and care for their plant. The other group had staff make decisions for them and look after the plant. The first group became more engaged, active, and generally healthier than the second.
Other studies* found that nursing home residents who could choose when and how long college students visited them were more active, healthier, and more satisfied than those who had no control.
Both studies pointed to the same insight: when people feel in control, they’re more likely to boost the motivation, well-being, and even a better chance of survival. Control isn’t just nice to have - it’s a basic human need. And choice is one of the most effective ways we exert that control.
Psychologist Albert Bandura described this feeling in two ways: agency and self-efficacy.
Agency is our ability to make choices and take action.
Self-efficacy is our confidence that we can succeed in specific situations.
We make choices all the time, from big ones like choosing a career to small ones like deciding what to eat. Every choice strengthens our sense of control and confidence.
But when we lose control - especially over negative events - stress and anxiety increase. Research even links feelings of helplessness to higher risks of depression, illness, and shorter lifespans.
Here are three simple ways to build a stronger sense of agency in daily life, at work, in leadership, and even in parenting:
Instead of worrying about things beyond our reach, we can direct our energy toward small, intentional actions. Something as simple as taking care of a plant or making small daily choices can help us feel more in charge.
When people have a say, they feel more empowered. That’s why aid workers sometimes ask disaster victims to pour their own water - it gives them a sense of control. Child psychologists suggest letting kids make small choices, even between two identical spoons, because it helps build confidence and independence.
Journaling moments when we took initiative, made a choice, or solved a problem can remind us of our own power. Seeing these small wins helps build confidence over time.
By making these small changes, we can create a life with more resilience, confidence, and fulfillment. Whether we're navigating everyday stress or bigger life challenges, strengthening our sense of control - and using choice as our tool - can make all the difference.
May control and choice be with us.
*Langer, E. J., & Rodin, J. (1976). The effects of choice and enhanced personal responsibility for the aged: A field experiment in an institutional setting. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 34(2), 191-198.
*Schulz, R. (1976). Effects of control and predictability on the physical and psychological well-being of the institutionalized aged. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 33(5), 563–573.